Andrew Robson Bridge Club: London bridge club for courses and lessons with expert tuition

Limericks


	An elderly player called Prain Sometimes failed to contend with the strain; His second revoke Was a bit of a joke But to trump partner’s ace was insane Philip Prain	If your partner cannot follow suit Do not behave like a brute Just smile, nod and chuckle While biting your knuckle And next rubber give them the boot. Harry Dalmeny

	Mistook my partner’s intent Grand Slam looked Heaven sent Opponents said double I was in trouble Now I see what she meant! John Hill	There was an astronomer Hubble Who bid a Lightner double His partner misled So the slam went ahead And a bottom he got for his trouble John Evans

	Bridge Players on the Titanic When the iceberg hit, wouldn’t panic “ Of course we’ll go down” Said South, with a frown “ Every king is offside – it’s satanic” Harry Dalmeny	A girl from near Parsons Green Told Andrew “I’ll never be Queen” He replied “After Time And some lessons of mine You can have all the court cards as well” John Kingsley

	Said a mature student called Peter Who liked to “play” with his teacher “ I don’t understand, I’m in the wrong hand, And I was really trying to please her” John Hill	There once was a shy little cupid, Whom his bridge friends found far from stupid, So he sat on his cloud Feeling ever so proud But refused to act as reputed Valerie Redgrave

	A red-faced old colonel from Cheam Was heard at his partner to scream “ Trump my ace if you must, Bid six with a bust But NEVER lead low from Ace-Queen” Harry Dalmeny	There’s a brilliant Bridge teacher called Robson Whose pupils sometimes have “cobs on” With the tricks of his trade And Roman Michaels aid He trounces them hollow with knobs on. Maud Alexander

	A masochist with very short sight Blundered into the club Tuesday night Partner said “Shuffle. I’ll deal; have a truffle?” Poor lad, he died of the fright. Harry Dalmeny	She was slim and fair from Quatar, Whose “bidding” went way too far, But said she would squeeze, Put her hand on my knee, Strewth – that’s ARBC ! John Hill

	A Major who hailed from Chicago Once partnered a fearsome virago She admired his finesse And he her largesse Still he hightailed it back on wells fargo Michael Adams	There was a young lady from Lidd Who played Bridge with her great uncle Sid One day in seven no trumps She was down in the dumps She was sure she had now overbid Lynne Webley

	Playing teams with Hannibal Lector In horror I called the Director “ My partners being ate; Off the bone, not the plate!” But the laws of bridge couldn’t protect her. Harry Dalmeny	There was a young vicar from Stoke Said “Club Bridge is more than a joke, Though all my intentions Are to learn the conventions, The very next round I revoke” John Hill

	Three wise Kings from the East on quest Followed a Star to the West But how wise could they be If they came as a three Now with four Kings I would be impressed. Harry Dalmeny